For the past couple of weeks I’ve been listening a lot to Mei Semones, and in doing so I found myself thinking about the way she plays guitar. Her arrangements and chord progressions are complex (humbling experiences trying to play any of her songs) but really sweet at the same time.
I thought—“Oh, her guitar must be really sweet, in contrast to mine which I need to beat up in order to get something out of it”; This thought caused some echoes to reverberate in my mind. I felt bad for my guitar, and for having this negative image of it as an entity that refuses to give me what I want to hear.
After a little bit, it hit me: maybe my guitar is just like me. Shyness at the order of the day, trying to get phrases out in order to please rather than to express, trembling at the possibility of disappointing, thoughts so special being kept underneath a six feet pile of excuses, dribbles and redirections just because—“Who would want to hear that?”.
I put different eyes on it now. I’ve been thinking of ways to have it to trust me, so that it can feel free to share what it hides from the rest of the world; to show what it has been hiding away from me. For this, I have concluded, I need to give in, lower my defences, and also trust it with my secrets and insecurities. We need to become friends before we become musical partners.
I have neglected this bond between us for so long, therefore, I’ll start with an apology.
I post this to extend the message, do not neglect the tools you use for your creations. They have personalities as varied and complex as ours.
Maybe your guitar, your pencils or your camera are also feeling unsure, insecure, or scared. Why don’t you try to ask them?