<<- Take me back
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07-08-2025

Finished Takopi no Genzai last monday, and also Bungo Stray Dogs last week, I think? Really good series, both of them, in completely different ways lol. Currently watching Sōsō no Frieren and Moral Orel (although I watched the first episode of this series like two months ago and just got around to watching the second this tuesday morning), also Boys II Planet.

I'm making a bit of an experiment in which, while at work, I only listen to music I've got downloaded. I chose ten albums at the beginning of the week, and I'm sticking to them until sunday. I will then replace them with another ten, and so on. I still listen to whatever I want when I'm at home, but I want to take advantage of the span of time while I'm at work to listen over and over to certain albums and internalise them. I feel like, at times, I can hear a bunch of music but hardly pay attention to it because it comes and goes so fast. Maybe limiting it could result in a different experience.

I've updated the 'Listened Recently' iPod with those ten albums. There are all works I'm already familiar with (with the exception of Elliot Smith's 'From a Basement on the Hill'), which were what I wanted to pay closer attention to during the ongoing week.

I started writing a blog post about my relationship with social media and stuff alike since I've also been applying changes to that, and jesus christ, I make things way too long. I'm three pages in and don't know how much is left. Although I have to say, I like how it's turning out. I want to mark a bigger difference between my journal and blog, so I'm gonna take the time needed with this upcoming entry.

I cut my finger (not) very deeply so I cannot play the guitar comfortably, but things are pretty much alright aside from that.

OH! And I pre-ordered Silent Hill f. Generally, I'm against pre-ordering stuff, but.. come on.. have you seen that? I couldn't resist.  


17-07-2025

I'm working on some new stuff, at the pace of an asleep snail, but doing so anyway.

I'm thinking of a big update for this site. I've been doing some mockups. Some of them were really out there, but I think I'm gonna go with something close to what I have now, just better organised. In some way, I like the square box-like design. I don't know what that says about me.

I've been thinking about moving out to nekoweb as well. I feel like, at times, I check neocities too much. I don't know if that's what I wanted the first time I made my site.

There's a project I'm really excited about, for that one, I'll make a site here. I'm thinking about upgrading to supporter, in order to manage more than one site at the same time (in case this one remains on this hosting). However, money is really tight at the moment.

In other, more uplifting news. We bought our tickets to japan, around the same time as my last update. Really happy about it. We also got our airbnb reservation. It'll be in exactly seven months from now.

A couple of years ago, right when I was about to move out of my mother's house, something strange happened in my mind. You see, I live more in my head than I do in the physical world. I like to imagine and overthink. I have a blast with just my mind. I'm always preparing for outcomes of circumstances that might never happen. It's very vivid up there. But during that week prior to my moving out, I couldn't envision anything past the date by which I was going to start living in that new apartment. It was jet black in my mind. I tried as hard as I could, but couldn't think or imagine anything.

I then moved, and my life changed forever. My mind changed forever. I am such a different person from who I was before that. I was greeted by the chance to grow beyond what I could foresee. At that time, I saw the upcoming darkness with dread.

I mention this because, after this trip, I can't envision a single day past it. It's like the world ends in my mind after march of 2026. I feel like I'm gonna come back being someone different, someone better. And now, I'm excited to face this void again.

I'm going to take these seven months to build the foundations on which I would like to grow once I come back.

That's all for today.

-ram


23-06-2025

Where's the snow? I was promised snow for today. I was expecting to have my US soap opera moment, open up the windows having overslept, see the ground on my front yard painted white as I scratch my eyes open, then see my friend coated up saying:

– School is closed for the day! Let’s go build a snowman!

Of course I am not from the US, not from a province where it regularly snows, don’t have a front yard, and it has been eight years since the last time I went to school. But I did want my snowman, bummer.



I started the procedure to get a passport. I’ve never needed one, never even seen one in the flesh, but since we are planning a trip to Japan for next year, I need one! We almost bought the tickets on saturday, then realized I needed to insert my passport number and got stuck there. Should be here before friday. Hopefully my picture there doesn’t suck too much. I have a terrible, terrible history with ID photographs.

It’s not even the typical unfavorable lighting or the ‘I look like an inmate’ kind of thing. I have some pictures of mine that look like I had just been struck by a hurricane right before getting my picture taken, tough thing.



I’m trying to take better care of myself. I started running again after a couple months. I had to stop due to the fact that I started having terrible migraines during that period of time. It all got under control now, so hopefully it won’t be an issue this time around.

I find it funny, I always meant to pick up running as an exercise, but I didn’t do until I read “What I talk about when I talk about running” by Haruki Murakami, on this book, the author often mentions how he goes out to run listening to classic rock music from the 60s. I don’t think I quite match the vibe myself, since I mostly run listening to Kero Kero Bonito, but I’m on something of my own I guess.



I like sushi now, apparently. Since we’re traveling to Japan, I thought I should brush away that characteristic of my personality: non-sushi eater. I never liked cold food, nor raw fish. Guess what? It wasn’t all that hard. We ordered sushi last Saturday, ate it, and loved it. So yeah, all sushi of the world, beware! I’m out to get you. I might start reconsidering some other aspects of my personality now, since it seems everything is up for change. I might change my name, get a generic haircut and start wearing those jackets that look like trash bags paired with skinny jeans and Adidas sneakers, take odd-angle pictures of myself and develop a strange obsession with cars. Who knows.



I’m planning on changing this site. I like the overall style, but I want to push the knob a bit. I don’t think I’ve done my very best, and I check neocities more than any social media platform nowadays, so I should put in the work. I’m gonna start sketching things now, since I have two hours to spare.



Also, props to every single man in my family for giving such detailed passionate representations on how not to act at every single instance or complication a human being might face, way to go guys!

I think we can stop now.

-ram.


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